Welcome back and thanks for joining us. In this two part article we’ve been talking about a form of child abuse that often goes unacknowledged as abuse – the emotional kind which leaves no visible marks.
However, the lack of scars doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a serious effect on a child, and in many cases that effect can have an impact on them for the rest of their lives. Which is why we’re talking about a scenario where a toxic parents abuse children for a single purpose – hurting the other parent.
Keeps you uninvolved, which makes you look bad
A narcissist, in an effort to make you feel uninvolved in your child’s life and prove to your child that you don’t really love them, will sometimes work to make it hard for you to be involved in your child’s life. This way, when they (the abusive parent) have to shoulder the burdens of caring for your child, they can make it look as if you couldn’t be bothered. This could mean:
- Scheduling doctor and dentist appointments for when they have the child, so only they appear to care about the child’s well being.
- “Forgetting” to tell you about parent teacher conferences so you don’t come, which makes you look like you don’t care about your child’s education.
- Doesn’t let you know when the child was ill, or stayed home sick from school, so that you appear to be uncaring about their health.
Becomes the child’s secret confidant
One of the ways abusive parents alienate the other parent, is to create a secretive and confidential relationship with your child. They encourage your child to share details with them about personal struggles, and to not confide in anyone else (which includes you). That way, the abusive parent looks like the only one who cares enough to be supportive of the child’s feelings and struggles.
Also, this teaches the child that when they’re having a hard time, or being bullied, or in emotional pain, the only parent they can share their feelings with is their toxic parent. You don’t care about them, and their toxic parent does. This way the child, without even realizing it, it taught that you are uncaring and not to be trusted.
Teaches the child to resent time spent with you
Children usually love to spend time with their parents. They enjoy the companionship, the feeling of being safe and secure, and the one-on-one fun. But a narcissist can’t stand to know that their child is happy without them. So they teach their child to resent time spent away from them.
They do this by regularly letting the child know how much fun they’ll be missing while they’re gone with you. Kids love to have a good time, and if they miss out on fun things they really want to do because they have to be with you, eventually they’ll start seeing you as the reason they never get to have a good time. And it won’t be long before they’re mad about the fact that they have to spend any time with you at all!
Don’t let your ex abuse your child and torture you!
As attorneys who’ve spent decades handling both child abuse cases, and contentious divorces, we understand how destructive this practice can be. We know all the tactics, and are familiar with how to handle this situation. So whether we’re helping someone whose the victim of a toxic “other” parent, or someone whose been falsely accused of child abuse in any capacity. Call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245 and let our skilled abuse and neglect defense attorneys help you through this.